welcome to my little digital space that im going to attempt and carve out here. im feeling like i need a change and im tired of the passive, noncommital, avoidant person i've been. i keep expecting people to save me but what i think should happen is i should try harder :)
it's hard reaching out to people and i wish thinking about these things didnt takeup like all my brain, i want to grow and im just gonna be stuck in myself forever if i go on like this but i barely know what "like this" is
focusing on things that are here,

im pretty upset/stressed about the fact that my car was towed and the lot needs to store it for the weekend before i can even think to do the next steps with the dmv. it's such a fucking money sink and i know its built to punish me for the mistake of not updating my validity in this life (i've also avoided taxes this year.

i am excited to see my friends from home soon aside from all the mental blocks underlining little steps of prep to clear for it to feel ready. but i know itll be fun no matter what happens because i luv those guys and just wanna show them a good time around the bay.

i'm also excited for tonight to go to my friend's jazz show, with my friend and her friend who i haven't met yet. i always love live music and have been hungering for it deeply over summer, weirdly when this should be the time its most live!!!